You know how some weeks are just bad? Things go wrong, you feel off balance, you're stressed and unhappy. This has been one of those weeks.
I'm waiting to hear back about my second year review (turned in my personal statement and writing sample last Monday) and whether I'll be allowed to continue in my doctoral program, which is no small amount of stress. On top of that, I've learned that the Swarthmore administration lied to my face (and to my email, which is great for me but pretty damning for them) about the consequences of my filing a
sexual assault case against my ex-boyfriend. They never had any intention of actually following through with the agreements I made with them, and needless to say, I am none too happy about it. ("My belly is a pit of rage" would more accurate, but I'm trying not to succumb to excessive emotion that isn't productive.) Other students are in the process of filing
Clery Act and
Title IX violations against the college, and I have contributed my story to the pile. I don't know if anything will come of it, and it's obviously far too late for me, but I hope that future students will not have to go through the pain (both in terms of assault, and in terms of dealings with the administration) that I have.
The thing that brought me to tears, though? Was dropping my camera when I was about to take some swatch pictures earlier today. It broke. I don't know if it can be fixed. It's an opportunity to spring for an even nicer camera, but it was definitely not what I needed today (not least because it's not even a year old!). So you'll have to wait awhile longer for the ~20 Meow Cosmetics blush and Cat Glow powder swatches I have planned (and also EOTD, FOTD, more 30 Days, and pretty much anything of interest). I'm sorry.
I'm going to go drink some tea (ordered some more Adagio samples for spring, and so far, they're delightful!), study some Turkish (color coded flashcards = teh best thing evar), and try to learn R (programming scares me). And breathe. And maybe paint my nails, even though I don't have the time for it, because fuck it: I deserve sparkles.
How are you doing?