Saturday, March 21, 2015

The Absurdist Beauty Scenario Tag

I should be doing corpus stuff, but instead, I'm gonna do this tag. Look at me, posting again! (Don't count on it to last, though.) You should read Larie, Liz, and Lily's answers, too.

1. You have to get rid of all your foundations and only keep one high-end and one drugstore; which do you keep?

Welp, there's no drugstore foundations that match me, and I've yet to find a high-end one that matches, either. Right now I mix NARS Sheer Glow Siberia (too yellow) with MAC Matchmaster 1 (too dark) and it's mostly okay, though mixing is kind of annoying. If someone were sadistic and cared way too much about restricting my base makeup choices, I would probably take my chances with a white foundation (I've got my eye on Manic Panic's once the NARS runs out) and the MAC. Though I'm hopeful that the new NARS Luminous Weightless Foundation in Siberia actually matches the Radiant Creamy Concealer in Chantilly, as it looks like it does based on Temptalia's swatches, and doesn't slide off my oily face, because one-and-done would be ideal (minus the fact that it's $48 fucking dollars and it doesn't even come with a pump, goddamnit NARS).

And, as usual, I manage to say too much without actually answering the question. Buckle in, y'all!

2. You go for an interview, and the lady interviewing you has lipstick on her teeth. Do you approach the subject or ignore it completely?

I would definitely let her know, preferably before the start of the interview, doubly preferably as a quick aside. Something like "I'm sorry, but you have a bit of lipstick on your teeth" [slightly pained sympathetic expression]. I would want someone to tell me, and as long as you're not rude about it, I can't imagine anyone would be bothered.

3. You're not feeling yourself and need a pick-me-up lipstick. Which do you go for?

Hmmmmmmmm. Probably Lancôme Lip Lover Rose des Cygnes (which I haven't reviewed), because if I'm not feeling great, I don't usually want to worry about something that requires more confidence or maintenance. If I just want a pick-me-up, though, maybe Flormar P319 or Bite Pomegranate (which I also haven't reviewed, though you can see a FOTD with the former here). And if I'm angry at the world (say, for giving me a uterus and attendant hormones), just lip balm, because I don't want anything to interfere with my eating my emotions.

4. You go back in time for a day to your teenage years; how would you do your hair or makeup differently?

Is it bad to say that I wouldn't? I wasn't that in to makeup until (late) college, but I wouldn't change that. And my hair was just...curly and fine and whatever. Now, if I could go back and tell 5-year-old me that face-sized glasses aren't great, I...still wouldn't. I loved those glasses, even if hindsight is 20/20 (so many layers of puns there, you're welcome).

5. You ask your hairdresser for a shoulder length Pixie Lott haircut but they hear wrong and give you a pixie cut––what do you do?
A) Smile, say thank you, call your mum (how quaint!) and cry hysterically
B) Cry in the chair and things get awkward
C) Complain to the manager and demand a refund

The only reason I know who Pixie Lott is from listening to Pandora when walking to class, and I have absolutely no idea what her hair looks like. (I mean, I do now, since I just Googled it, but she would never be my go-to example for shoulder-length hair.) Plus, who would ever (ever!) risk using her as a point of reference, when her name is the same thing as a completely different hair cut?! You should assume that in the context of a hair salon the frequency of use of "pixie" as referring to a short hair cut would be orders of magnitude higher than referring to a given person and choose some other way of expressing your desired hair cut. So yes, in this case, were this to happen to me, I'd be like, yep, that was a stupid choice of words. (And who doesn't bring pictures when choosing a new hair cut?!)

Also, if I were to go to a hair salon and be like, I want shoulder length hair, they'd be like, okay, come back in a year. Also, I've had the same hairdresser for more than two decades, and I trust her with my life. Also, I would be totally okay with a pixie, obviously. But putting all that aside, if there were a problem with a service like this, I'd like to think I'd ask that they fix it and/or give me a refund, but more likely I'd just be quiet and call my mum (ha! when I was 10, I wanted to be British, so I called my mother Mum until she got annoyed and begged me to stop). And then just encourage myself to be a little more assertive in the future.

6. Your friend surprises you with a 4-day city break and you have one hour to pack. Which "do it all" palette do you pack in your makeup bag?

I don't really have one of these, but in the spirit of minimalism, I would bring: UD Naked Basics, UD Rollergirl, Clinique Berry Pop, and just grab a couple handfuls of lippies, because I cannot be minimalist in my lip makeup. And then run around like a crazy person trying to pack for 4 days in an hour. (What shoes should I bring?! SHIT, DON'T FORGET YOUR MEDS! Ugh, I'm getting stressed just thinking about it.)

7. Your house has been robbed. Don't worry, everyone is safe, but your beauty stash has been raided. What's the product you really hope is safe?

Wait wait wait. Wait. Who the hell would break into my house and raid my makeup stash? I mean, I have an above-average amount of stuff, but it's not, like, super great or anything. They'd have been much better off stealing our electronics, if they're looking to make money, or our family heirloom paintings and pets, if they're wanting to cause emotional destruction (which would just be terrible. Though since some of my research is stored just on my computer and backed up on my external [which maybe they'd decide not to take? pretty please?], losing that would be pretty shittastic, too). I think the only makeups I'd be really upset to lose are things that have been given to me as gifts, since they have sentimental value, but even those I could replace and just pretend were the originals. I'd mostly be pissed about having to spend money to buy new stuff, heh. Though it would be a license to play with a bunch of new stuff, so...

8. Your friend borrows makeup and returns it in awful condition. Do you:
A) Pretend you haven't noticed
B) Ask them to re-purchase it
C) Secretly do it back to their makeup (If you choose this answer, you should re-evaluate your friend/life choices.)

I'm happy to lend my makeup to close friends, because I know this scenario wouldn't happen, but if it somehow did and my friend didn't offer to replace it themselves...well, okay, the only way I can plausibly imagine this happening is if maybe I'd lent a friend some makeups for a big event, like a wedding, and then on the way back from said event they were in a car accident and their luggage got destroyed and my makeup along with it. In which case, the condition of my things would be the last thing I'd be worried about. Is my friend okay?! Was anyone else hurt?! And was there an open bar?!?

Your turn!
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